It was a landslide vote on Instagram this week -mental health was on e v e r y o n e ‘ s minds. Finding life hacks to deal with anxiety is also a big one on my mind these days. Anxiety and chronic illness come hand in hand, for a variety of reasons.
Today, I’m going back over a subject I previously covered – anxiety. I’m doing this for a variety of reasons. The web is flooded with studies on what stress does to us. But, personal experiences and advice in this area are few and far between. That’s why I’m here.
Beyond the Type A Personality driven diseases, autoimmune diseases are where people really get kicked when they’re down. Multiple researchers found that cumulative childhood traumatic stress increased the likelihood of an autoimmune diagnosis later on in life.
But, like I said in my post on trauma, it’s going to happen to all of us. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to the events in our lives.
In this post, I’m going to go over some points I already mentioned, but in a new way. I’m also going to introduce a few new ideas I think you might find helpful.
In my last post, I went over a few different tips that I’m not going to go into more detail on – like journaling, deep breathing, or meditating. I think I’ve gone over these in a lot of details in previous posts.
Today, I’m going to start with my old favorite –
Get A Professional Involved – Don’t Make Me Ask Again
But, here’s a twist and a tip – vet them thoroughly. I’ve heard a hundred therapy horror stories, and I have my own, but there are sure fire ways to avoid that.
This article from the American Psychological Assosciation lists guidelines and great questions to ask your potential therapist to make sure they’re a good fit for you. The website also has a locator you can use to find a psychologist in your area.
A lot of employers offer free counseling services as part of their benefits package. Take advantage of this if it’s an option for you. If you’re a university student, many of them have their own free or largely discounted services available for students. That takes me to my next point –
Don’t Forget the Support Group
I’ve found support groups to be incredibly beneficial since my diagnosis. I’m actually interested in a couple more, since doing my research for this. My university offers several weekly, as does the local hospitals. Another thing that caught my eye were all of the programs put together by NAMI.
They have a ton of resources available online, and almost everywhere in the US. This link will take you to a page where you can locate a support group near you through their organization.
If you’re unable to make it to, or you aren’t near, a physical support group, don’t fret. The National MS Society and MSAA, among many others, offer online communities for people to conversate about all things MS. I know other chronic illness organizations offer this service as well. For those unable to get the benefit of face to face meetings, these are a great option for gaining new insight from and building new friendships with people who get it.
Exercise…Everyone’s Favorite Magic Cure
Beginning a workout routine should be discussed with your doctor, of course. But moving your body any way you can is beneficial. I’m sure people are tired of hearing me tout this one, too. It does work, though.
Some studies have shown moderate exercise works as well as medication for some people – I’m not giving up my antidepressant just yet, however.
Those same studies have shown that a 10 minute walk can be just as beneficial for anxiety as a 45 minute moderate workout. Beginning a workout routine should be discussed with your doctor, of course. But moving your body any way you can is beneficial.
On the flip side, some of us with MS can’t walk – what about then? If you’re mobility is limited, just move. There are tons of great body part specific workouts available on youtube. You can target whatever you’re able to.
Like I already mentioned, moving your body any way you can is good for you. It also takes your mind off your worries for awhile. Which leads me to my next point –
Consider Volunteering or Get A New Hobby
Will either of these things rid you of anxiety, or take care of whatever issue is causing you said worries? Absolutely not. That’s not the point.
The point is that by doing something for someone else, you’re going to end up helping both of you. Doing good for others will always make us feel better about ourselves.
It can take our mind off of our worries for awhile, and give us a new perspective on those issues. Anxiety over ‘what-if’s’ about MS dissolves when I’m preoccupied with sorting donations or writing prayer cards.
The MSAA has some ideas on how to volunteer on your own time, and from the comfort of your home, if travel or time constraints are an issue.
If you’re unable to volunteer, use some time to cultivate a new hobby. When the weather cooperates, you can find me in my garden, something I took up after my diagnosis.
Using your time to do something productive is crucial to managing anxiety. When I’m anxious, I’m the queen of procrastination, because everything just seems sO iMpOrTaNt….but, not everything is.
Make Some Lists – Then Check Them Twice
This is kind of self-explanatory, but hear me out. When I was in the throes of Type A Personality, I kept lists about lists, and planners for my planners.
Now that I’ve cooled off a bit, MS fog has kicked in, and I’ve become more go with the flow, these are even more important.
Keeping on top of certain things – like medical appointments, kids practice schedules, or assignment due dates – are essential to keeping our sanity in this chaotic world. They can be essential to staying healthy, too.
I now keep one planner – my Big Happy Planner from Michaels – and a Medium Happy Planner notebook. These are both disc bound, which allow me to reorganize and customize them as my needs change.
I keep three lists to keep things organized. A To Do list, To Call/Email List, and a Focus List. The first two are obvious, and simple checklists.
My Focus List is more freehand, and contains my thoughts on whatever I’m focusing on that week. During the school year, I also have a School specific list to keep track of assignments or reading I need to accomplish for class that week..
My planner and notebook keep me on track when my mind is in a million places. I make sure to check them a couple times each day, just to check that I’m accomplishing what needs to be done. I track my bills and prescription refills, too. This alleviates SO much stress for me. I know what’s done, what I still need to get to, etc.
It also breaks down my goals into smaller, more reasonable steps. This keeps me from getting stressed out by the big picture, instead helping me focus on what I can do today. And with everything all in one place, I don’t stress about what appointments I have, or wat bills are due.
Take It One Day At A Time
I’m showing my NA roots here, but the Serenity Prayer has helped me through a ton of anxiety. Regardless of what you believe, the wording can be adapted to suit your taste.
Please – Grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change that which I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Anxiety likes to make us look like fools – foolish enough to waste time worrying about ‘what-if’s’ in the future, or situations we cannot do a thing about. While in the present, we’re almost certainly neglecting things we could do something about, if only we had the perspective.
If you find yourself constantly fretting over something you can’t change, try repeating the serenity prayer a couple times. It won’t fix the situation, but it could help you gain much needed perspective and peace. It can also be part of your meditation practice, if it suits you.
Seriously…Stop Caring
This one I’ve gone over before, and probably will a dozen more times here on Stumble Pup. It’s so, SO important that we all understand this.
It’s easy to get caught up in our chronic illness woes, becase they are real. Pain, mobility challenges, balance issues, and brain fog come along and can wreak havoc. Like I said above, life happens, and all we can do is control our reactions to it.
It’s even easier to get caught up in ‘Keeping Up With The Jones’s’ in todays society. Instagram and Pinterest catalog perfect lives with the perfect filter.
There will always be someone better than you. Someone prettier, in better shape, with better grades, in a better relationship, with a better job, with more stuff, with a bigger bank account, and better health. It’s impossible to keep up.
This type of thinking, combined with my Type A Personality tendencies, were the biggest contributors to my two big physical flares. I stressed myself out all. the. time.
I had to learn to just let go…because in all reality, what will be, will be. We can only control so much so work on that, and let the rest be. Some of the best advice I ever got was that what other people think of me is none of my business.
Quit caring about the stuff that doesn’t matter. We have enough to be getting along with.
Figure Out What You’re Really Stressed About
This is a tricky one for me to approach, but is SO important to managing your anxiety. Chronic illness alone is cause for anxiety – if you didn’t experience anxiety prior to diagnosis, this may not pertain to you.
If you’ve experienced chronic anxiety like I have, however, managing your anxiety may take a little more work. It’s still important to deal with the emotions that come along with a chronic illness – these hurt, and are real. But, it may be a little deeper than that.
I’ve said before that I’ve been in and out of counseling for a long time – it’ll be 14 years in August, a little over half my life. That’s because I survived some pretty traumatic stuff.
Some scientists actually theorize that the immune reatcion responsible for demyelination in MS is triggered by a severly traumatic event. People with MS reported a greater number of stressful life and traumatic psychological events than control groups every time.
I also found this to be true for some other autoimmune diseases, too. I personally have been diagnosed with three now – a lot of people with MS suffer from other odd comorbidities. Just means my immune system is more messed up than previously known.
If stressful life situations are any predictor of future autoimmune disease, my immune system never had a chance.
Which is why it’s even more important to narrow the cause of anxiety down – if I constantly dealt with my anxiety due to MS, but neglected the rest of my mental health, I’d still be overrun with with worry.
As I suggest all the time, find a professional to help you navigate these tricky waters. Whether it’s a sexual assault in highschool, a chaotic divorce, childhood abuse, or any number of seriously rocky events in life – trying to deal with the emotions calls for serious consideration. Don’t take this stuff lightly.
One of the best resources I’ve found for dealing with my root cause of anxiety is the ASCA, or Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse. Their website is chock full of information on life after childhood abuse. Doesn’t matter what kind – physical, emotional, or sexual – there are valuable resources there for you.
They also offer support group meetings in person and online. A manual called Survivor to Thriver has been critical in my recovery. I feel like I have a solid foundation under my feet now that helps me deal with certain things better. Plus, it’s a step recovery program, which are near and dear to my heart.
So, whatever is causing you stress, figure it out. Don’t neglect it. Especially if you have MS – in this preliminary study, doctors could predict new or enhancing lesions based on stressful events. Don’t let stress, or MS, get the best of you.
Anxiety is very underdiagnosed, and under treated, in MS and chronic illness in general. I hope these tips help you like they’ve helped me. Let me know what you think below – and check back later this week for more in the Introductory MS series!
Talk to you soon,
